In the mood…
It has been a long and exhausting week and it’s made me irritable. Without ado:
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A Fine Romance
Jerk the First: Michael Buble
When he moons over the girl he misses as he’s jet-setting around the world, he sings:
“I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two, I’m fine baby, how are you?
I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough.
My words were cold and flat, and you deserve more than that.”
What. You haven’t sent her any letters since you’ve been away? And if she deserves more than that, then why give her less than that? Ass.
2. AJ (Empire Records)
Witness the depth and breadth of hip teen love:
“You remember that day… you wore that skirt that I hate? The one with the flowers. Yeah, the blue one. I hate that skirt. It’s good that I hate that skirt. Listen. Listen to me. That skirt made me realize that… if I can love her in that skirt, then this must really be it. Corey, I love you.”
(but ya better keep taking those diet pills, eh Corey?)
3. Big (Sex and the City)
Emailing a bunch of cut and pasted love letters from a book your bride left at your place is NOT ENOUGH to make up for leaving her at the altar. Seriously dudes, why is it so hard to write a goddamn letter.
4. Simon Pegg in Run Fat Boy Run
What I found really refreshing about Spaced was that Pegg wrote himself a character who, while nerdy (comic books, video games, movies), was an emotionally mature individual. He was a considerate, giving, good friend to his female roommate.
None of that appears in this movie character (which he helped write). Here, Pegg’s underdog is very familiar: unreliable, self-involved, constantly imposing on others, yes, funny and sometimes cute, but immature.
Thandie Newton deserves a better ending than re-uniting with the fat boy who left her pregnant and alone at the altar because 5 years later, he runs a marathon. What. The. Fuck.
5. Any romance where the pinnacle of happiness and fulfillment for her revolves around getting him to merely express his need, love and/or approval of her.
Like in Payback (what? whaddya mean decade old references? it’s still relevant!!) when Mel Gibson’s Porter cheats on his wife with Rosie, then leaves Rosie, then comes back when he needs help which fucks up her life and almost gets her raped and killed. When she demands to know why she should help him, he responds that she’s the only one he can trust and needs her, and apparently that makes it all worth it. kill me.
It is a total coincidence that it’s Valentine’s Day 2 days from now.