Office Monkey

Just 4 more days of class left and i’m trying my darndest to stay engaged and involved. I know i can be excessively critical and pessimistic. I know my expectations can be unreasonable.

But then i go to class and think “how is this NOT A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME!!?!”

truly ridiculous or excessively negative? You be the judge:

- so yesterday was the last day of our Youth At Risk class and we had 2 guest speakers come in to give us a workshop: The “STAR Workshop.” STAR is an acronym for Student at Risk. Because we should see them as Stars. awww, isn’t that cute? and it gets better! they then break down “risk” into categories: behavioural risks, emotional ones, academic, medical, and social. Never mind that the categories lack coherence/sense. there’s a method to their madness. That’s right! another acronym! BEAMS! cuz really, why use science and the social sciences to inform your work when you can come up with a bunch of words that share a motif and make us feel good about the work we do? so then they give us a profile of a student at risk and tell us to “BEAM our “STAR.” *rolls eyes* you could see the glee on the speaker’s face at being able to say that. “IS EVERYONE BEAMING THEIR STAR?” idiot. and shouldn’t it be “BEAMSing their star?” Doesn’t sound so catchy now, does it?

- following the exercise the speakers then shared some personal experiences in the classroom to tie into the workshop. He presented 2 “resources” that he uses in his grade 11 drama and english classes. They were 2 children’s books. picture books. about? right again! STARS! he didn’t actually say WHAT he used them for but assured us that the students LOVED it when he brought them in and that they LOVED being read to. !!! soooo…. this guy feels he’s meeting the province’s grade eleven curriculum expectations by bringing in picture books and his justification is: “the kids liked it.” cuz that’s how we evaluate our teaching strategies and our effectiveness as teachers.

- they also handed out Mars bars. cuz you know, Mars is up in the sky.. with the stars…

- and to top it all off they closed with a song. with really special lyrics. that we were asked to pay close attention to. I have posted them here so that you too may benefit from the experience I had yesterday morning: you can hear it here as you read along:

WTF. this song was written by a toronto former high school teacher (of course) named Barlow. he really understands his kids. and respects them.

So.. that was how we spent 4 hours on Monday morning.

I dunno what you call it but i have this bad fixation/obsessive behaviour/crazy thing where i pull on my hair. i run my fingers through my hair and any non uniformed/non compliant hair is forcibly removed. I used to yank it out from the root but, for fear of going bald, i started using scissors and just snipped off the unruly bit.

recently however i’ve abandoned the scissors and found great satisfaction at a strand of hair breaking off in a snap. quite simple since unruly hair is generally weakened and frayed to begin with. by running my nails over the strand, i can get it to break off.

the weird thing is, somehow i often end up pricking myself with my hair. like, i’ve drawn blood. anyone have experience with pricking themselves with their hair? i’ll hear the hair break off with a snap and feel a pinch and when i bring my hands down, there’s a hair sticking into the pad of my forefinger.

i’ve also gotten i guess what you’d call, hair splinters. a small piece of hair, stuck in my finger that i have to coax out.

anyway, i’m gonna buy some conditioner, or maybe get some prescribed medication or something.

So, finally started watching the 5 seasons of The West Wing that my friend J has on dvd. I’m on season 4 and i’m really enjoying it. Very patriotic but i love how educational it is. I know, i know, you shouldn’t get your education from fictional drama series..es… can you pluralize series? is pluralize a word?

anyhoo, it’s funny, informative and i like the culture it cultivates. the characters care about their job, set a standard of excellence in their work and lives, believe in right and wrong, and their reasons for doing what they do go beyond self-serving motives. It’s refreshing: the ambition, the belief in ideals, the heroism…

but i love homer and george costanza too…

Had a really good time at the Palais Royale for the Constance Margaret Christmas Ball. Everyone was decked out in holiday/vintage wear, there was a lot of great dancing and F and I had a blast mucking it up on the dance floor with the little we knew.

The ballroom backed onto the deck overlooking the lake and it was really nice out there; you could hear the water rushing up against the shore and it was quiet and dark- all the more emphasized by its contrast to the lively merry making indoors. I know, so very cliche and cheesy (and totally wasted on me and F). Ah yes, the classic everyone’s in formal wear, escape for some fresh air and solitude at a party on the balcony only to be approached in the dark quiet of the night by some romantically interested person cliche. Is it even possible to take a breather at a party on a balcony anymore without feeling like a poser? And anyone who saw you would almost certainly take it as a sign that you were inviting sexual advances. Especially if you are gazing out towards the city skyline.

Anyhoo, it was a lot of fun but what made the night just a little sweeter was when Tory Cassis returned my earring. *swoon* Unfortunately, it wasn’t nearly as romantic as I like to make it sound (no balconies or dark corners)- it fell out while I was dancing, someone gave it to the man on stage, and Mr. Cassis made a “lost earring” announcement for the owner to come up and retrieve it. … ok, feeling lame relating this story. moving on!

All in all, a top notch evening. Tory Cassis and the Saturday Night Function were terrific as always and it totally kicked off the holiday season for me. Loved it when he sang Baby, it’s Cold Outside. You can check out their music and possibly some pics from the night here.

Some “at a party on the balcony” scenes:

For my teachers’ college english class, my “bio” poem:

Story of My Life

Empty chair in class again, looks like someone missed the train-
Korean, glasses,
Skips her classes,
Still, she passes,
(barely)

Though she’d like to get some sleep, our girl’s got a bar to keep-
People drinkin’, glasses clinkin’,
Some are thinkin’,
Others winkin’
At the bar.

Then notes to write, texts to be read, but maybe she’ll just go to bed-
A busy bee,
Anxiety!
Drinks lots of tea,
She’s stressed.

When she’s let go from work and school, what’s our girl do to refuel?
Yappin’, nappin’,
Toes a tappin’,
Hands a clappin’
(At a show)

Never seems to have a dime and always running out of time,
But she gets by,
She’ll give a sigh,
(or have a cry),
And then she’ll try
To catch that train.

I gave up online dating a while ago but i was surfing lavalife’s database of men earlier today and some of the profiles- yeesh! Some beefs:

- Being sarcastic is neither rare, difficult or even desirable. It’s nothing to be proud of and yet it is *constantly* mentioned.

- Doing a post-undergrad program at a college is not grad school.

- Going to teachers’ college after your undergrad is not grad school.

- Writing “I have a sense of humour” in a blandly composed profile.

- Saying i’m a nice guy, a good looking guy or a fun guy. It tells me nothing. No-one is going to say they’re not a nice guy, that they’re ugly or that they’re boring. what does being nice mean? “I’ll always walk you to your door,” or “I’ll babysit your baby brother/your baby when you are sick/studying/invited to your 10 year high school reunion” or is it, “I’ll let you hold the remote.”

- this also applies to the word “intellectual.” as in “i like intellectual conversations.” pretentious. he probably loved the da vinci code.

- and if you’re gonna use the “thinking woman’s” man schtick. make sure you know the difference between their, they’re and there (avoid: “why do fools fall in love? Because their fools”). Additionally, if you’re gonna talk about how grammar is important, make sure yours is correct (avoid: “good grammar and spelling is important”).

- are we still at a point where “i can cook” is supposed to be a selling point? (not to be confused with “i love to cook” which sounds much more beneficial and promising)

- were we ever at a point where “i’m looking for a girl with more than just a nice body” was a selling point?

anyhoo, i could probably go on… any dating beefs of your own? found any annoying female profiles? let me know!

So, teachers’ college organizes its class into cohorts. I am in the “Youth at Risk” cohort because I want to work with “youth at risk” once i become a teacher. That being said, I really don’t like my “youth at risk” prof because i don’t respect her approach to dealing with youth, or people for that matter.

For example, on our first day of school we went around in a circle introducing ourselves. There’s some diversity but the class is mostly filled with young 20 something’s of caucasian descent. When we get to P, a black student, my prof asks him where he’s from. When he answers “Nigeria” she says, “Oh, well then you must have been excited when i used that Achebe quote on education.”

i’m not quite sure it’s appropriate to ask a question about ethnicity only to the black student in the class. and then to make an assumption that he would appreciate all things Nigerian. and maybe even suggest that you know what he’s all about because you know Achebe or you know Nigeria or more precisely, you know of one writer from Nigeria. It seems to imply that race/ethnicity in his case, plays are larger role as an identifier compared to the rest of us. Which, while maybe not racist, does seem to point to a preoccupation with race.

It kinda reminds me of the time i was getting counselling from a doctor at uoft. i’d spent 30-40 minutes spilling out a rant about myself that covered my likes, dislikes, frustrations, strengths and weaknesses… and at the end of it the doctor asked if i’d considered joining any asian or korean student groups on campus. I kinda blinked at her and wondered whether she’d heard anything i said.

I mean, it’s just sloppy thinking. I just spent 40 minutes providing personal information- that is, stuff that pertains directly to me- and her fixation with the shape of my eyes and my hair colour, a trait shared with at least a billion people, leads her to a conclusion that is completely off base and in my case, totally unpalatable. I’ve actively avoided other koreans due to the negative experience i had attending korean church (they were mean).

Similarly, my prof advised that we should watch an hour of muchmusic on a daily basis as a means of making a connection with our young students.

Again, there seems to be this insulting assumption that all there is to know about youth merely requires watching an hour of the nation’s music station. On top of the huge (and inaccurate) generalization, it also seems a little underhanded to try and ingratiate yourself by pretending to be something you’re not…

Underlying both scenarios there’s a suggestion of:

1) a consistent desire of an outsider to somehow insinuate themselves with what they believe to be “the other” or “the unfamiliar”.

2) a belief that this can somehow be accomplished by merely appropriating superficial/trivial (though not deemed so by the learner) knowledge about the other.

So i dunno a couple of things:
1) there are probably alot more similarities between my coordinator, P, and high school students than differences. And it’s important to identify which differences/similarities are important and significant and which ones maybe don’t matter.

2) maybe tolerance and understanding might have more to do with having the humility of accepting your ignorance and your status as outsider and letting yourself be led in certain aspects rather than trying to maintain your dominance/control over a relationship.

I don’t know.

I decided not to go to class today. Although I could come up with a load of reasons to explain my lack of motivation to go to class (all of which are true):

- the class is boring/pointless
- i’m not feeling all that well
- i need a day to organize myself- the apartment’s a mess (laundry, dishes)
- i haven’t done the readings for class

the real reason is… i have bad hair. i went to bed with wet hair and now it’s a wild uncontrollable mess and it’s keeping me from leaving my apartment.

Lots of buzz around the new bond movie. A friend of mine sent an article in the guardian about how the new bond definitely is portrayed through the (hetero) “female” gaze referencing the beach scene where Craig exposes his well defined torso. In it they also refer to the common practice of “wetting” the star in a scene to increase their sex appeal- something they call hydra romance. I am a big fan of hydra romance. Mr. Reeves in particular responds quite well to water. Example below. Please feel free to add your own favourites.

After having a brief freak out over the weekend and calling in sick Monday morning, I’m feeling really good about this last week of my practicum. My associate teacher told me I can show the movie the Untouchables to my 2 grade 10 applied history kids starting wednesday (prohibition and the 20s/30s). YAHOO! that takes care of 4 periods!!! FOUR PERIODS! leaving me with only 3 lessons to prep for the rest of the week. WHEEEEE!